When interviewing former "no excuses" teachers for the book, I asked them to describe a high point and low point during their time inside the KIPP Model schools. Those responses provide the focus of Chapter 7 of Work Hard, Be Hard: Journeys through "No Excuses" Teaching. (For previous chapters, search the web for the title of this blog post).
Chapter 7
Teacher Highs and Lows
. . . we had staff meetings
that would go past midnight, and I’m glad that’s not a part of my life
anymore. (1167)
For former KIPP
teachers, the high points they remember from KIPP are most often associated
with “the kids.” Hearing some variation
of “the kids were my high points,” or “I loved the kids,” or “the high point
was definitely the kids themselves” was common during our conversations. Another teacher said her high point “would definitely be interactions with students. I mean,
there are specific students that I remember very fondly and think about their
potential and their kind of stick-to-it-ness when it came to their work, and
the things that I admired about them.”
High points
included projects with children that teachers worked on outside the regular
classroom. One teacher talked of a
carnival, and another described a history fair on Saturday. One teacher
identified her high point as being able to create a special education program
at a KIPP school, where none had existed before. One teacher talked of teaching children to
sing a song in German and “teaching rhythm to my advanced band.”
A
former KIPP teacher discovered a high point as a result of working with one
particular student who “had been diagnosed with several learning disabilities.”
She had worked one-on-one with the student on developing “a growth mind set,”
and as a result the student had “worked her ass off for . . . a 4.0 average by
the end of second quarter.” This teacher
said,
It was one of those success stories that I feel wouldn’t have happened
at a public school because the support network that this girl had with the
[KIPP] teachers who were dedicated to staying until seven o’clock every single
day, and she would rotate who she was getting extra help from. She was
dedicated. She was committed. And so to see her work pay off like that and to
prove the critics wrong was a highlight for me.
Another
teacher had his high point when he found that all his 22 middle school students
with whom he had worked with for two years had passed the state test at the end
of the second year. He said he
remembered “crying and setting up a big party.”
One
former KIPP teacher experienced her high point near the end of the year after
the state test, when her students produced a major writing project that lasted
eight week that was “really, really beautiful, and very memorable….It was the
first time I felt like all year the kids really were enjoying writing class,
and what was, you know, hugely frustrating – it was like a high, and a low,
because that’s how I would have wanted to be teaching all year, but I was told
that I need to teach in the five-step lesson plan.”
Another
teacher’s high points came near the end of the year, too, when he and two other
KIPP teachers designed a trip for students who had earned enough paycheck
points to go on a week-long trip that included quality time in the outdoors and
fun time in a large city in the region.
This teacher found that when the lid was loosened on the KIPP pressure
cooker, so that teachers let their “guards down,” both children and teachers
had some profound experiences:
There was very little pressure—there was always some academic thing we
would infuse with it, but it was very much a reward. It was fun because it’s a reward, and
everybody likes rewards. But more than
that, we basically let our guards down enough so that we could really stand
back and watch and observe the kids be middle school kids in these exciting
places. When we took that pressure off
and just observed them, not only did we see all of their colors . . . . But to
see them be interacting with each other in an unsupervised way really, I think,
gave them a sense of ownership and freedom to where we were able to create an
experience that was theirs.
And then more so because they were allowed to relax
and breathe, they were able to reflect a lot easier, and their reflections on
the past year, certainly in relation to school and their relationships with
each other and their relationships with the teachers, were profound. It’s the kind of thing where you feel like
you’ve done your job because you’ve created an environment for them to thrive
as opposed to feeling like you’re driving the train.
Another
teacher’s high point came near the beginning of his time at KIPP “before I got
on the radar of the administration,” a time that allowed “relative autonomy . .
. despite the fact that we were forced to have our doors open at all times.” A former TFA teacher who lasted four months
at KIPP had her high point when she was able to set aside the KIPP Model long
enough to have a “little Friday afternoon party” for students who had earned a
certain level of paycheck dollars for the week: “I
felt like someone that they wanted to be around, so that was exciting and it felt
good to just kind of be in the chill environment because it's so often so strict
and so structured.”
Another
teacher who struggled “under the weight of guilt” for being part of imposing
the harsh KIPP Model on students found her high point, too, in “forging
relationships with students, rapport with students . . . [who] were
consistently not meeting expectations.”
These students who “would’ve been called defiant, questioning authority,
questioning the KIPP code” were able to come to trust this teacher:
I felt like I established a rapport with them, in the sense that I
think that over time it became clear to them that they feel secure questioning
certain precepts of the KIPP code with me.
They felt like rather than respond with either jargon or with accusing
them of defiance, and threatening them with some kind of punishment, I felt
like they, over time, felt they could come to me and have a real intellectual
discussion about some of the rules that they were forced to deal with day in
and day out. In terms of a high point at
KIPP, those times when I would work with those students, not even work with
them but have lunch with them one-on-one and just talk to them about their
school and some of the issues they had to deal with in coming to a KIPP school,
those were definite high points.
Other
teachers found such opportunities rare or unavailable at all. One teacher, whose professional ethic
centered on being “on the side of the student all the time” and on caring for
each student “as if it was my own,” remembered a situation that made it clear
to him that his values were not shared by his school leader. In relating his experience, he shines a light
on the questionable process used to shed non-compliant students without
increasing the low suspension and expulsion statistics that KIPP offers as
evidence that its schools do not “dump” problem students:
One instance that made me feel extremely uncomfortable and I say that
in general that as a teacher I want to be and really care about that child as
if it was my own. And we’re in a parent
meeting one student in particular is being someone defiant and disrespectful to
some teacher. And so she’s been given
all these conduct marks and is finally up for suspension, and we sit down with
her mother to have this behavior plan meeting because basically the meeting
allows us to put the child on a probation status of sorts, which is basically a
step away from expulsion. The meeting
really is a way to kind of start getting the student either compliant or on the
way out. And that’s basically said at
this meeting with the parent and the principal—the school leader brings up this
idea that we’re not sure the student is a good fit here.
One
former KIPP teacher found her memorable high points in bonding with a small
cadre of colleagues who questioned or challenged KIPP rules or mandates that
they considered “insane.” As she
related,
You know, I still talk to these people, and we keep in
touch and kind of laugh at the things that happened. . . . Some of the teachers
who were there from the years before who had stuck it out obviously are the
type of people that can be controlled easily and like things to be in a certain
way, kind of like bureaucrats, you know, people who could follow these rules,
who are okay with them. . . .We just did not buy in.
Low points while
teaching at KIPP were more frequent, more intense, and easier for teachers to
recall than the highs. As one teacher
said, “I couldn’t pick out a single low point because they were so many.” She followed up by talking about being
“absolutely exhausted” as the low points during the three years she taught at
KIPP. The total exhaustion culminated
when she fell asleep on her way home and crashed into another car at a traffic
light.
Her experiences
at KIPP and her subsequent recovery from exhaustion left her with a renewed
belief in public education, which she identified as a high point from working
at KIPP: “I have not lost faith in the public school system—I’ve actually
gained more faith by working at KIPP. It
has tripled my faith in the public school system.”
One teacher found
her low and high points shifting back and forth as she focused on how other
teachers treated, and mistreated, students at KIPP:
. . . the kids . . . for the most part wanted to do well, struggled so
hard and worked so hard. Harder than they would have ever worked in a regular
public school, and still didn’t do well, and seeing them be misunderstood by
teachers who didn’t understand much. There were a few teachers who thought the
same way I did. One of them was let go….Another one, she did her two years and
she left there. There were a couple of really amazing teachers who did not need
to shout or scream or belittle or berate, and did some amazing things with
those kids and seeing that happen was a high point. That is what I thought I
was getting into. An organization full of those kinds of people.
One teacher found
out she would not be rehired only when she was the lone teacher during a
faculty meeting who did not receive a copy of the revamped schedule for the
coming year. Another teacher in
performance arts who worked four days a week came to school on a Friday to find
her computer had been taken away. When she
complained, she was given another without a power cord and told the school had
no power cords for that computer.
During an
interview with Stephen Colbert in 2008, co-founder Dave Levin said that KIPP
looks on its teachers as “rock stars” or “star athletes.” This contrasts sharply with the way former
teachers felt during their time at KIPP, as one teacher explained when she
talked about her leaving KIPP to have a home and family, “those things that too
many KIPP teachers are not getting.” This former KIPP teacher who was in
graduate school in education recalled that he “felt like I was not being
treated like a rock star at all. I felt like I was a grunt in the military the
way I was being treated.”
He said that KIPP
had been entirely “unwilling to make sacrifices at school to allow for a
healthy lifestyle outside of school.” He
talked, too, of a conversation that he remembered having with a female
colleague who also wanted marriage and children:
. . . we were both commenting on how the KIPP lifestyle was not going
to provide us with the opportunity to meet someone and really foster a healthy
relationship, and that having kids and working for KIPP are mutually exclusive.
They don’t go together. The only teachers at KIPP that I know that have kids do
not work full time.
For this teacher,
this situation was due to paradox created by placing all KIPP’s concern on
student test score outcomes and none on teacher welfare, when teacher welfare
is key to raising test scores:
. . . they’re kind of creating this paradox or they’re
contradicting themselves because most schools know and most people know that
good teachers raise test scores. Good teachers create good students, and the
good teachers are the ones that you need to keep, but if you’re not attracting
the best teachers to your school and you’re not keeping the best teachers at
your school, then you’re kind of shooting yourself in the foot, and the long
hours . . . can only get you so far.
So if KIPP has constant turnover with
their teachers, then they’re reinventing the wheel every year, and they can’t
keep those really good teachers that are responsible for the kids making such
drastic improvement. . . . That’s [the long hours] not what’s improving test
scores, and it’s not the lesson plan. It’s the teachers themselves.
One veteran teacher who was hired at
one of the Memphis KIPP schools encountered criticism from the outset, when he
was shocked to hear that his bulletin boards did not meet specifications. When that had been corrected, he found that
school leaders did not like the way he was open with students and engaging them
in debate and questioning, even though he had years of high school experience
and the school leaders had only taught brief stints in the lower grades.
Criticism
of teaching style was quickly followed by a critique of his content, which the
school leaders found inappropriate for high school students, even though the
readings used are included in most high school curricula for the subject
taught. By October, this teacher was
demoralized to the point of beginning to feel as if all his prior success and
his “entire career had meant nothing.”
Angered,
he asked the school leaders why they had brought him to Memphis if they did not
like what they had seen or heard during his practice teaching and
interview. Their reply offered what this
teacher considered a deep insult and his low point at KIPP, when they said, “We
thought we could make you a KIPP teacher.”
One
teacher’s low point came as a result of being chosen as the new teacher who
would get “special help” from a consultant hired by KIPP to help the school better
monitor student behaviors that this teacher had never known were so important
until she came to KIPP:
. . . if they had their hands on their desk, or if they were tracking
me when I was giving directions, or like, if their backpack was not on the back
of their chair, or if they were wearing their sweater instead of their sweater
being in their cubby, or on the back of their chair, or if they still were
writing when I had said, “pencils down.”
The consultant
had what he advertised as a sure-fire system based on constant narration of
good and bad behaviors that all teachers were to apply. This new teacher admitted she was both
skeptical and somewhat resistant, which ended in her having to wear an earpiece
as the consultant stood in the back of the room whispering instructions into
her ear:
. . . it just really bothered me that I had to do it this specific
way, and it got to the point where he had me wearing like an earpiece, and he
was standing in the back of the room, watching me lead my class, and I was so
uncomfortable, I was sweating, and then, I had to do this sequence of
directions the way that they wanted me to, and he would tell me into my
earpiece what I was supposed to be saying to the kids. And it was just really weird, because there
were like 27 kids; they were really good kids, but they had to be like perfect,
and I—I just—I didn’t believe in it, and I didn’t agree with it, and [in]
meetings with him I was crying, talking to this consultant, saying like I just
don’t believe in this—I don’t get it, and I was just really encouraged, like
well, this is how we’re doing it, so this is how we need you to do it.
Several teachers
related incidents of losing control or of nearly losing control as they tried
to keep perfect order while meeting all the expectations of school
leaders. One teacher said,
. . . I personally had an incident in which I lost control with some
students in terms of just getting upset with them. And I used a curse word and I got very, very,
very, very, very angry. I lost control
and so that was probably the low point.
Another
teacher’s loss of control climaxed in a screaming match with a 7th
grader that had to be broken up by a parent volunteer. It all started when a student “smacked her
lips,” which was an offense that required a deduction from the student’s
paycheck:
And if you smack your lips, that was a deduction on your
paycheck. I walked around with this
clipboard all the time, and I had my pen and everybody’s name on it. If someone did something they weren’t supposed
to be doing, then you’d deduct their paycheck.
Which can be done in a nonchalant way or it can be done in a very clear
way or it can be done in an escalation manner.
I tried very hard to not escalate. . . . I deducted the two points from
her paycheck.
She rolled her eyes and started complaining. That leads to another deduction, and she just
escalated and I played along with her.
Somehow she started screaming; at KIPP that kind of behavior is entirely
unacceptable. The typical method, which
is something that was somewhat unnatural for me, but something that I employed,
was to not let her do that. In front of
this whole class we got in this screaming match. I obviously moved her outside, but the kids
in the class could hear it until one of the parent coordinators came in with,
‘Let me take care of this, let me remove her.’
I remember going home
that night thinking, or I remember in that moment when the parent took this
girl away from me, that I had just not only over-stepped the bounds of professionalism,
but I was extremely embarrassed by my behavior.
I think it’s probably indicative of some of my experiences, where as
much as we loved those kids and we just tried to love them as hard as we could. Everything came from that place of wanting
more for our kids. But a hard lesson
that I’ve had to learn over the years is that you can’t want more for other
people if they don’t want that for themselves.
As a teacher, you’ve got to guide them there, but you also have to set
high expectations. Again, you‘ve got to
meet them where they are and certainly not get into screaming matches with 7th
graders. I felt embarrassed and I think
it called into question for me a lot of what we were doing at school.
When asked,
specifically, what was called into question for her by this incident, she
replied,
This whole notion of extreme discipline. There were some places where we were able to
create an environment where there’s a love of learning. But by having, exerting, so much control over
the environment and the students, I wondered what happened to them when that
kind of discipline wasn’t instilled, that kind of control wasn’t [there], when
those reins were taken off when they went to high school, what would
happen.
And shouldn’t we, as educators, be trying to prepare
them to be more independent than we were.
I think we felt like a lot of our kids were coming to us in crisis, and
they needed stability and they needed somebody who they could trust. I think we did absolutely our best. I can’t imagine having done more. But sometimes more is not the answer;
sometimes less is the answer. The idea
of more rigor, more discipline, more control, more stability, I think, was not
appropriate for our kids, over time.
A
young teacher who had difficulty adjusting to KIPP Model discipline after two
years as a TFA teacher in a public school attributed her struggle to her
different style of interactions with students, which had been more persuasive
than confrontational. When she was called
to a conference with her grade level chair, who had the same amount of teacher
experience as she, she was told that her discipline problems were due to
students’ lack of respect for her, which derived from her inability to develop
relationships with students.
The grade level
chair’s advice was for her to follow his lead, which was to drive students home
and to buy them food from McDonalds.
This teacher found this supervisor’s advice “preposterous:” “And [to] have this
guy my age with the same experience tell me that I didn't know what I was doing
or . . . to limit a child's ability to understand a human being based on
whether or not they're buying them food at the end of the day just, to me, is
so inappropriate.”
Another
teacher who gave her all to KIPP and found it not enough had received honors in
her previous teaching position. Yet at
KIPP, she could not seem to ever satisfy the school leader, who had taken her
to lunch when she started teaching at the school: “He spent like an hour with me. And I know
he’s busy. He took that time because he wanted to check on me. And I felt
valuable.” By December, however, her
dream of being a KIPP teacher had turned to nightmare, and she was doing all
she could to stay ahead of total exhaustion, while trying to do everything that
was expected of her. The low point came
during her final conference with the school leader, just days before she was
fired:
. . . he sat down with me. He’s, like, ‘we know you're working hard,
but effort does not equal results. And when you look this stressed, not showering,’
and the way that he looked at me, I felt like he was commenting about my weight
and my clothes and my appearance. He’s like, ‘what does it look like to the
kids when you're their leader?’
And I think that was
the low point because I really had given the kids every single thing that I
could think of. I brought every trick
with me. And I gave them every minute.
And, you know, I felt betrayed by this principal who had sat with me, and he
cared about me, I thought, and valued me. And I felt like a complete failure. So that was the low.
The
teachers I spoke with were deeply affected by their experiences at KIPP. And while some found points of light that
illuminate their stories, for the most part, there remains a darkness that
pervaded the narrative spaces that these teachers created as they recalled
their time at KIPP:
I look back at those years, and for that year and a half, it just
seems like a dark period. My blue
period. And there was some good, but for
the most I feel anxious when I think back.
It was a very hard time. There
were other things going on like I was saying in my private life . . . it was
hard because I was never home, it was hard to take care of either the job or my
personal life well. It was just a bad time.
I worked at a KIPP school for 2 years. Worst 2 years of my life. Everything bad you hear about working at KIPP is true.
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